I was thinking I was not being realistic trying to do "the entrepreneurial thing" without a clear vision of what I'm after, and that I was getting deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole, leading to spiralling debt and overwhelm, not wonderland.
That's Resistance from within.
Second, and this was the biggest trigger for my being down in the dumps, my family was exerting pressure for me to forget my dream. It's unrealistic they say. I should give up self-employment, get a stable job. I would have made it by now if my idea was possible. Some of my friends echoed the same sentiments.
Not to mention anybody else who, as I soon as they realise I don't follow the traditional model they have been taught, feel the responsibility to show me the error of my ways so I fall back in line with them and re-join the 9-5 lifestyle. That's resistance from without.
Don't get me wrong, there is a time when you have to concede defeat. But what if Roger Bannister had given up just because of all the "evidence" around that running a mile under 4 minutes is impossible (as I attempted to say here)? What if the Wright brothers had listened to the "clues" out there that seemed to indicate man could never fly? What if Chris Guillebeau, Scott Dinsmore, Marie Forleo, and others had listened to the naysayers who thought that they were unrealistic to expect to make a business out of their passions?
Watch Marie briefly relate her journey
Watch Scott Dinsmore explain his in a Ted Talk.
It does take time.
It takes education, persistent experimentation, consistency, focus.
I will not ignore my family and friends totally. I will do something to earn more and help alleviate their fears.
But I can't stop right now, or let their fears slow me down.
A few weeks later after I wrote the above, my finances are a bit better, I found a temporary job that will help for a while. No, I'm not giving up. I just need to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
I'm also educating myself so that I don't go bankrupt while trying to design my own career.
Which, oddly enough, leads me to productivity enemy #4, which I will cover next!
:P